Written by Susan Salomone, MS, CASAC
I lost my oldest son, Justin on May 29, 2012. He was 29 years old. Justin was a very creative, social, good-looking young man. He got addicted to prescription opioids in 2004. As a family we were not sure how to help or if we even could help. We heard things like they have to reach rock bottom to get help, throw him out of the house, it is the only way he will get better. We heard you didn’t cause it, you can’t cure it and you can’t control it, and detach with love.
We know today there is hope and there is something you can do to help your loved one make better decisions in their lives. In 2018, I became a Family Support Navigator for Cove Care Canter in Carmel, NY. Shortly after helping Arlene Seymour design the program, I attended a training that claimed to have very good results in helping families of loved ones misusing substances reduce use or enter treatment. That training is called CRAFT, Community Reinforcement and Family Training.
The three major goals of the training are to have your loved one enter treatment, or in the interim reduce use and the third goal is to improve the quality of life for the family members. This training helped me to understand that the family does have influence and although it was too late for us, there were other families that could benefit.
In 2019, I was introduced to The Center for Motivation and Change and I was trained in their model called The Invitation to Change. This model incorporates parts of CRAFT and other modalities for behavior change. It is very user friendly for families, easy to understand but it takes practice to implement the strategies. It is a new way of looking at how we can help our loved ones make changes in their lives. The change has got to begin with us, the family.
As trained Family Navigators, we help families in several ways. We help them to identify detox facilities, inpatient and outpatient treatment centers that might be a good fit for their loved ones. We recommend therapists, attorneys and peers that can help steer your loved one in the right direction. We offer two family support groups every week via zoom that can educate the family in the strategies that will influence change.
One of the most important services we have available is coaching families using the Invitation to Change model. We work with families one on one at no charge at the location of their choice. These sessions can be weekly, biweekly or whenever there might be a crisis brewing. This is where we have the most influence in our work because we can educate family members on better ways to handle situations that come up during the week. We help analyze the action, the objective and the outcome and learn from it.
A metaphor that I learned awhile back when going through this with my son was: If you and your loved one have been doing this dance the same way for a long time, nothing will change unless you change the steps. We help you learn how to change and implement the new steps. If you know someone that can benefit from the free services we offer please contact us at 845-745-8094 or email ssalomone@covecarecenter.org