Helping Families Support a Loved One Using Substances

By Susan Salomone, MS, CASAC – Drug Crisis in our Backyard; Family Support Navigator, Cove Care Center

We have lost over 109,000 lives to drug overdose in this country in 2022.  Like so many other families that have lost loved ones to this Opioid Epidemic, I divide my life into the before and after. The before was May 28, 2012, and the after was May 29, 2012 when my son Justin died of heroin poisoning. Today 11 years later, I ask myself what has changed and what have we learned.  Through the efforts of many grassroots organizations like Drug Crisis in our Backyard, we have brought awareness of the rampant use of fentanyl, heroin and other opioids in our community, we have helped countless families understand Substance Use Disorder (addiction) as a chronic condition and rallied together in an effort to support each other live with the symptoms in a loved one. As a community, we have agencies working together for better prevention methods, supportive treatment, and innovative recovery options.

We have learned so much in the last 11 years. We learned things that I wished we knew while my son was still alive. We learned that continued attempts at recovery raises the chances of success.  Once is not enough and sometimes ten times is not enough but the important thing is to keep trying. It is difficult for families to remain hopeful under these most distressing circumstances but very important to the recovery of your loved one. 

 Family plays an enormous role in influencing behavior in someone using substances.  I was trained along   with one of my colleagues in CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training) in February of 2019. Even though I had been involved in the field for 8 years, the information I learned at this training really changed my understanding of how someone misusing substances can change behavior based on significant others in their lives.  Shortly after my training two of our Spotlight Family Support Group members went for training with the Center for Motivation and Change  to learn the approach they developed called The Invitation to Change. When they returned, they were very excited to introduce these concepts to the many families that attend our support group. Since May 2019 we have been incorporating this model into our support group meetings.

It may be difficult to present the model in this article, but I will give a brief overview of the Center for Motivation and Change Invitation to Change Approach.

The model covers 3 areas of effectiveness

The first part of the wheel is Helping with Understanding. In the training, families are asked to look at their loved one’s behavior from a different perspective. Through a different lens, an environment of compassion can be created which will support change in a positive direction.  Through an exercise in Behaviors Make Sense families begin the process of rethinking the indoctrinated philosophy surrounding addiction.  Learning that Ambivalence is Normal with any change reinforces the reason why people find it so hard to change habits and when substances are involved it adds another component. The idea that One Size Does Not Fit All underlines the prevailing concept that there are Multiple Pathways to Recovery.

The second part of the wheel is Helping with Awareness. This allows families to look at their own experience relative to their loved one’s misuse. Sometimes when we are in the middle of the chaos caused by substance misuse we forget about our own limits. We are intent on getting our loved one better and the self-compassion that we should have for ourselves is not in our frame of reference.

The third part of the wheel is Helping with Action.  Here families learn strategies to influence change in a loved one’s behavior. We see a direct link between the changing of our behavior and the response of our loved one.  Learning new communication strategies, setting limits, allowing natural consequences and many other techniques are taught so that families have options to choose from when establishing new patterns of behavior. 

I hope that this very brief overview will spark a desire to learn more about the ways that families can help loved ones create positive, lasting change in their lives. 

We invite you to a training that will be conducted by the Center for Motivation and Change on Oct. 21, 2023. This training is an introduction to the Invitation to Change and goes into depth on the different parts of the wheel and the subcategories within each part. In this 4.5 hour training, taught by expert Rachel Proujansky, PsyD, you will have an interactive experience that can change your thinking about substance use disorder. 

 

We also invite you to join our Family Support Group on Tuesday evening via zoom from 6:30-8:00. For more information call Susan Salomone at 914-582-8384 or email ssal@drugcrisisinourbackyard.com